On A More Personal Note

I’ve been a little apprehensive about putting this one out.This blog entry is aimed at the regular readers of my blog who don’t personally know me.

As you regular readers,(the ones who leave nice comments)probably noticed that I’m some old guy who RV’s alone, and on past blogs mentioned travel with wife Marlene,but not any current travels.

taken 5 years ago.

Well,she is still around,living in a nursing home over in Chilliwack,a 35 minute drive from here.

Her problems all started in the fall of 2002 when after years and years of migraine headaches,and then seizures, which by the way happened on our first snowbird trip back in 98.The doctor finally found a brain tumor that wasn’t operable.The medical system worked fast and they got her in to VGH in Vancouver, and a well respected doctor performed a biopsy to find what kind of a tumor it was.This procedure was supposed to be an easy in and out in one day thing…But it didn’t go as planned and during the procedure the doctor called me in to be with her to help calm her down, as she was fighting their efforts(I think they didn’t get it right putting her out).

Then they kept her overnight for observation and I return the next day to pick her up and I found myself taking home a different person.Her personality was different and she was confused about things and now walked very slow, lightly dragging her left toe.

All of this I figured was just a temporary condition that would work itself out in a few days or weeks and went on being more focused with getting her radiation treatments set up.

We spent that winter camped in our travel trailer near Surrey Memorial while she had her treatments.The radiation treatments caused further decline in her mental condition and she found herself forgetting how to do things,so it was then that I started my 5 years of looking after her and giving myself a crash course on how to cook and do housework and generally wash her and help her get dressed.

During the 5 years of this I was at least able to take her with me on trips south.She was a handful,but at least I was able to get away RVing for my own sanity and not be couped up at home.

They say it takes about 2 years of this before you burn out.The public health nurses came to check regularly and I think they were mostly there checking on my condition, to see if I was burning out under the load.They would never come out and say she should be committed ,but when I said I don’t think I can do this any longer,they sprang into action and she was placed within a week. They knew she had other medical problems that were causing me extra grief.

So in April of 2007,2 days after our 50th anniversary,she was placed where she is today.I had a guilty feeling that lasted a long time,along with many a shed tear,but was bolstered by all who knew us,telling me it was the right thing to do.Many said that I needed to get on with my life as she was being looked after.

They do a pretty good job of looking after her,but not like I did,because in the first 6 months there,she fell and broke her right wrist and a few months later fell again and broke her hip.Now she’s in a wheelchair,only has the use of the left hand and cant speak.The speech part is due to the location of the tumor which by the way is in remission but the damage is done.This was a steadily declining thing which made it difficult for me to communicate with her over those 5 years.

She still recognizes all of us and our whole family does live in Chilliwack,but she has no personality and I have no idea what she’s thinking.There is still a bit of a sense of humor there,when I tell a funny.

So now you know a little more of the personal life of that old guy,Wandering Willy,who likes to travel.